Well, it's a tragic tale, really. Good readers, I have...I've been at rehab.
I know, I know. We all knew it was inevitable, really. It was starting to affect my life. People would tell me that they could hardly stand to be around me, that I was turning into someone they didn't recognize.
If you're new to my blog, then I have to tell you... I'm a rhetorical question addict. You'll notice my use of the present tense; I am sad to say that I have been unable to break myself of the habit. How else am I supposed to introduce new information in an interesting, different, and possibly humorous way? I am weak, but at least I know my own weaknesses.
Also, I graduated college, got married, moved, got a job, got promoted, and turned my house from roughly this:
(Image from McCrabby Rants)
to roughly THIS:
(Image from: Arlington Friends House)
!!! I know, we're amazing! It even has a theater room with a projector and screen that is disproportionately large for the room in which it is mounted! There are also dimming lights, and everything's on an awesome universal remote. But even better than the universal remote....I have a wand. A wand that lowers and raises the screen, dims and brightens the lights, and controls the volume.
Finally: I. Am. A Mage.
But, really, if you want one it's a Kymera magic wand remote, and I love it.
Now, let's stop pretending anyone is reading this blog and get back to cataloguing my favorite fictional people. I shall not reorder my old list, but merely add to it. (To see the first list, click here).
Fictional Loves, Take Two:
7. Remy LeBeau, AKA Gambit. Not an X-Men fan? (Damn my addiction!!) Let me inform you about Gambit. He's a Cajun from the Louisiana Bayou region whose main mutant power is converting objects; potential energy to kinetic, essentially "charging" items so that they 'splode. His secondary mutation is charm. That's right. He's motherfucking CHARMING. Not only that, he has a sordid past (the best kind, right ladies?). He used to be a thief and still excels at cards (his signature move is throwing charged playing cards). He also happens to be adorably devoted to Rogue, the southern belle of the X-Men, even though she cannot, ostensibly, touch another person. That's love right there.
8. Every other X-Man. I can't help it. I'm obsessed. Colossus is an artistic Russian who can turn to metal and loves Kitty. Nightcrawler is a sensitive German who prefers peace but can use his teleportation power to totally kick ass. Also, he's blue and I kind of like it. Cyclops is supposedly a boyscout, but he totally went for Emma Frost, who is sort of an evil skank (I love her, too, though, don't worry), and he's a beefcake. Even Beast sort of rocks my world. Sigh.
9. Ranger Manoso. From the Stephanie Plum novels. He acts like he's commitment-shy, but he's just a lifer. Gotta be careful with commitment when it means eternity in the Batcave. Also, he's smokin' hot, mysterious, and devoted in his own Ranger way.
Notice a trend? I am attracted to guys who are devoted to other women. Daddy issues? Nope. I just love love! Which is odd, considering that I tell my husband to stop being a girl when he says things like, "I honestly don't know what I'd do without you." Stop being a sissy, probably.
See? It's only cute in fantasy-land, which is reason number 8,643 why fantasy > reality.
PS- Next post will be more organized. I'm almost positive. What, you don't believe me?
PPS- Requesting refund from Sunnydale Rehab. Didn't decrease rhetorical question usage even a little. Total gyp.
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