Oxford Commas and Atkins

Mage of the Week: The Oxford comma. If you're unfamiliar with the Oxford comma, it is merely the serial comma. When writing a list, you include a comma before the last item. "Apples, oranges, and bananas" instead of "apples, oranges and bananas." So I'm addressing my wedding invitations--okay, my best friend with much better handwriting was addressing them and I was stamping. Anyway, we were verifying the correct way to include a guest's children on the inner envelope (yeah, there's an outer and an inner envelope. Who knew? And the response card envelope. It's like a whole civilization of paper lives inside wedding invitations!) and my best friend for life (let's call her BFFL for short-- she doesn't want her last name included) says, "So it would be 'Anna comma Liam and Benjamin'?"

My mom says, "Yep" at the same time that I say, "Comma and Benjamin." They both gasp.

Mom: That is completely asinine.

Me: Your face is ass-inine! (Okay, I didn't say that. Instead, I blustered and said something about how I've heard it both ways)

Eventually I proved to them that the use of the Oxford comma is standard, if not the "best" thing to do. I think it's a splendid idea if only to clear up ambiguity. Consider this:

              "Meet my siblings, Aunt Anna and Uncle Paul."

It sounds like your family is from West Virginia incestuous, when really you just meant to introduce your friend to your siblings, your aunt, and your uncle. All separate people. See how that extra comma just cleared that right up? Exactly.

Anyhoo, I think that I and the Oxford comma won the day and now it is my mission in life to promote the Oxford comma to the unbelievers!! Maybe I could make livestrong bracelets...

Accountant of the Week: The Atkins diet. It is so preposterous and unhealthy and an insult to people who are trying to lose weight to be healthier and-- okay, okay! I have no idea if it's unhealthy or not. I just know that I've been dieting and exercising way harder and for longer than my boyfriend, and yet I have lost NO weight and he has lost TEN POUNDS in a WEEK on Atkins. It is so unfair. I'm at college barely eating semi-healthy on cafeteria food. If I cut out carbohydrates, there would be, oh let me think...one thing I could eat. Their nasty wilting salads. Blech! Down with Atkins! It's not fair for you to make some people who have more control over their diet skinny while the rest of us suffer in...unskinnyness.