Introduction to... Probably No One

What is this blog about? Good question. Only time will tell, I suppose. What are the chances anyone will actually read this and that I will actually stand out among thousands (millions?) of bloggers in the world? Almost none, but at least it's practice for when I write that bestselling novel, eh?

This leads me to my first topic of discussion: self-deception.

I have an amazing capacity for it, as I'm sure about 100% of half of the world does. But Allie, I hear you ask. What ever do you mean by self-deception? An excellent question, good sir! Or ma'am. No. I'm sticking with sir. I find it perfectly acceptable to genderalize. It simplifies everyone's lives. Hm? A definition of self-deception! Of course. Well, I will define it intensionally (what is the essence of self-deception) and extensionally (what things are included under self-deception).

Self-deception is the ability to fool our own minds or convince ourselves that a thought, decision, or action is original to ourselves, rational, or awesome.

Now, for the fun part of the definition: categories.


Rationalization 

Our nation's past-time. You know it well. Yes, you. Don't deny it. Convincing yourself that you should buy the purse because it's on sale and, honestly, you haven't bought a purse in four months so it's about damn time for a new one. That drunken one-night stand was about making yourself feel wanted and having some fun. It didn't matter at all that your ex was there, looking jealous.

Ex. 1:

"Hey Doug, what up?"

"Ay yo, Kev!" (Notice Doug did not answer Kev's question, which was dubious at best. But that's a topic for another post).

"You gonna be in Econ this afternoon?"

"Nah man, I'm gonna take a nap. That party last night was fierce! I'm still f__ed up! But I've got a B and she posts the PowerPoints online, so I don't need to go anyway."

Doug had clearly decided to skip class because he's tired, but then uses retroactive logic to justify his decision! Classic self-deception.


Denial

Your Thoughts: Nobody in class knows I just farted. It was totally quiet. And it probably doesn't smell because I haven't had Mexican food in like...six hours. They all just think my Frank Zappa shirt is awesome and slightly retro, which is double awesome.

Everyone Else's Thoughts: That dude just made this class into Hiroshima!

You are clearly lying to yourself about the obvious to protect your fragile ego. The sad thing is, if you had just laughed when you had lit one off, the asshats who were just judging your anal salute would probably have fist-bumped you and the girls would have rolled their eyes but secretly thought this male ritual was manly and attractive in a sick way. So you're losing out here by deceiving yourself.

Confirmation Bias

This is called being a Republican. Or a Democrat. Or a human, really. It's this fascinating phenomenon where... oh, I see my nonexistent readers are dozing off. Well, wake up, philistines! This shit is interesting! It's just the tendency to ignore information that contradicts your beliefs and seek out that which confirms them. Like when someone comes up to me and says "Harry Potter is juvenile and way over-hyped," I say, "You're just a jerk who enjoys killing babies and hope." When someone says, "I can't WAIT for HP 7," I say, "Blap blap!" because it makes me feel cool and shows my excitement.

This is self-deception because it is conditioning your brain to think false (or potentially false) things! It rewards your brain with positive reinforcement when you find data that supports your preconceived notions ("I knew I was right for thinking Bush was an idiot. Because I'm a freaking genius!") and ignoring that which contradicts it. This is a dangerous and subtle phenomenon because much of it is unconscious. That means you're lying to yourself. Without. Even. Knowing.

Think about that for a while.

In conclusion: this blog post was pointless and I have no idea what I'm doing here.

That's a lie. I was lying to myself. I do know what I'm doing here. I'm here to put in minimal effort so I don't get my hopes up about one day winning the Interwebz, but to somehow win the Internetz anyway because I'm so amazing I won't even have to try. Phew. Overcoming this self-deception thing is hard. And embarrassing. Until next time, Internet!